Naked in Front of a Crowd

I feel very exposed, but I also feel the need to post about what is really going on with me these days.

I have postpartum depression (PPD).  I started to consider the possibility that I had it a little over a week ago when someone made a comment about depression in church.  I realized that what she was describing was exactly how I felt.  Then I called a friend of mine who had gone through PPD before.  She had talked about it on her blog (to see her post, click here).  At her suggestion, I called my midwife and went in for an appointment.

I don't feel like I'm going to hurt my child.
I don't feel like I can't get out of bed in the morning.
I don't cry all day long.

But sometimes I do cry.
And other times I am just numb.
Sometimes I laugh, but not as much as I used to.
And there are often times when I get very overwhelmed.
And angry.
And irritable.
And sad.


I know it'll get better, but at the moment...

I just wanted you to know.

Let Sleepings Dogs Lie

Apparently our dog likes to sleep with her tongue hanging out from time to time...

Ride 'Em Cowboy!

The only other blog-worthy thing we did this month was a field trip this past week we took the the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum. Since I had so many pictures, I wanted to make it a separate blog post.  They had free Wednesdays for the past couple of months, and this past Wednesday was the LAST free one.  Since we had missed all the others, we just had to go this week!

Fortunately for us we had some good friends to go with, and had a great time.

This huge plaster statue is in the entry hall of the museum.  It's called "The End of the Road".  (And for those of you who may not know/remember, the Trail of Tears led to what is now Oklahoma.)  See how tiny the kids are at the bottom?  From left to right is pictured Connor, Eva (friend), Kelsey, and Olivia.

The museum has a lot of artwork (paintings, sculptures, etc.) that weren't all that interesting to the kids, so we didn't spend a lot of time in those areas.  However, as soon as I saw this statue of "The Duke", I knew I had to get a picture for Ben.

There was an area of the museum that is made to look like a frontier town.  While exploring it, the girls decided to spend a little time in jail.

Eventually Connor and his buddy, Gage, decided to follow suit.

The kiddos posed for a picture outside.  Look closely and you'll see that Olivia had to hold Connor's head in place so we could get him to face the camera.  We couldn't get Gage into the picture at all.

In honor of Maddox turning one month old that day, he and I took a picture.

There was another smaller building on the grounds that housed "Prairie Town", which is a pint-sized replica of some frontier stuff where the kids play.  All the kids really loved these saddles thrown over logs where they could pretend to ride.

Connor also really liked the stuffed longhorn.

And Maddox got a lot of holding.  My friend (and neighbor) Terri is holding him here.  Apparently, I'm not used to taking field trips with small children any more.  I forgot to bring the stroller or any other sort of carrier except the car seat.  And I was NOT going to lug that thing around, so Maddox got held for our whole visit.

The kids also got to dress up in cowboy garb.  I couldn't get Connor to stop looking at himself in the mirror long enough to turn around and take a picture, so I just got him from behind!

Gage just can't sit still long enough for a good picture - really he can't.  He's got too much to do!  So much to see!  At least his mom, Christie, and smile pretty for the camera!

Connor's favorite thing in Prairie Town was this little log cabin just his size.  You can't see it in this picture, but he was getting ready to ring the dinner "triangle" with his long metal spoon.

While Connor was at the cabin, the girls went back to riding stallions.  Sort of.

Kelsey decided to take it easy on her saddle for a while.

And I finally got a picture of Gage where you can see his face!  Isn't he cute?

Meanwhile, Connor kept playing pretend at the cabin.  Here he is pretending to dish out beans.

After Prairie Town, I had to go nurse Maddox and Christie & Terri took the other kids for a walk around the trails on the grounds.  Afterward we met up in the courtyard and chilled for a few minutes.

Our trip was so fun that it inspired the girls to play a game of Indians when they got home.  What a great day!

Sweet November

I just don't know where the time has gone.  Actually, yes I do.  I had a baby and life got hectic.  However, we are starting to adjust.  School is back "in session" for us, but we have found that most of our classroom time now takes place when Connor is down for a nap in the afternoons.  I learned pretty quickly that a hungry newborn and an active toddler are almost more than I can handle when you toss in trying to sit down and do school work with both girls at once.  Now the girls spend some of their morning time doing chores, having "fitness time", writing in their journals, and having DEAR time (Drop Everything And Read).  We're also watching a lot more educational shows.  We've learned a lot about insects, the weather, and even meerkats.  Yes, Olivia and I have become fans of Meerkat Manor.  Who would have thought we'd sink to the level of reality TV about meerkats?  It's strangely compelling and full of drama.  We love it!

In other news this month, both of my lovely daughters decided they wanted to have drastic haircuts.  Olivia wanted chin-length hair, and Kelsey wanted a pixie cut. These pictures aren't the best, but at least it'll give you an idea:

Pumping

According to Ben, I shouldn't have let Connor in the room when I was pumping the other morning. 

If I had, however, we wouldn't have gotten THIS laugh when I walked into the bedroom this afternoon:

I think he's missing a little something, don't you?

(p.s. I also reminded Ben that the lock on our bedroom door doesn't actually WORK so I couldn't stop him from coming in.)

Things That Make You Go "Hmm..."

Olivia was holding Maddox and he fell asleep.  So she apparently put him on her pile of clean laundry waiting to be folded...

Hmmm... couldn't she think of anywhere better to put a sleeping baby?