Mary Poppins "Bags"

Several months ago I was going out with some friends to get ice cream after a church function. Since I didn't have pockets in my skirt and there was no need for me to bring license or car keys, I simply slipped a $5 bill into my bra to pay for my ice cream later. I confess. This isn't the first time I've slipped a piece of paper into my "spare pocket" for safekeeping. What's the big deal, right?

While in SC I noticed that both of my southern-dwelling sisters have a similar habit. They keep their cell phones tucked inside their bras. This is an inconvenient habit at times, such as when my sister Beth let Connor play with her cell phone and he drooled all over it. Unaware of it's condition, she simply tucked it back in her "spare pocket" and it soaked her shirt. (The phone was really, really wet!) Or like the time when Gwen had her phone on vibrate and when it went off she thought a roach had gotten on there and it freaked her out. (Oh, how I wish I had been there to see that!)

But then, while relating these things to a friend who shall remain nameless, she told me about her mother-in-law. Apparently, she is a rather buxom woman who often tucks her car keys or other items into her brassiere. On one particular day, she was looking for something she had tucked in there and couldn't find it, so she did what anyone does while looking for something they can't find in their purse: she started taking all the items out. She took out her wallet, her keys, her change purse, her cell phone, a coat rack, a lamp, a large plant, and a tape measure. My friend told me it was like watching Mary Poppins...

So, lest I become Mary Poppins myself in about 30 years, I solemly vow to reserve my bra to hold only those items that it was made to hold.