20 Rules for Camping

1. When camping in an area without cell phone towers, if your phone says "searching for service", turn it off. Otherwise, it'll be dead before morning.

2. If there is a large rock in your path, go around it. Don't try to step over it.

3. If you are determined to disobey Rule #2, don't do it holding a camera.

4. If the forecast temperatures have a low of 50 degrees or less, JUST DON'T GO. 40 degrees in a dark tent is much, much colder than 40 degrees on a sunny day.

5. If you are determined to disobey Rule #5, there is No Such Thing as too many blankets. If you made your kids leave extra blankets at home, be prepared for intense feelings of guilt at 3am when everyone is too cold to sleep.

6. Exposing your pasty white skin to the sun for an extended period of time without sunblock will likely result in a sunburn. It doesn't matter if it's only 55 or 60 degrees.

7. While it IS important to stay hydrated and drink lots of water, remember that walking the 50 yards to the restroom every hour or two is going to be rather aggravating. Especially at night, when your bladder shrinks in the cold.

8. If you are camping with young children, come prepared with melatonin to help them get to sleep in an unfamiliar place.

9. If you don't have time to let the fire burn out and are going to douse it with water, move items at least 10

feet away from the campfire. Anything you don't want covered in soot, that is.

10. Two roasting sticks are not enough for 5 people.

11. When roasting a hot dog over the fire, don't leave the stick pointed at a downward angle. Hot dogs are heavy.

12. Handling a cactus is not a good idea. Small, hairlike spines in your hands can really, really hurt.

13. Almost anything will burn to oblivion in a good campfire.

14. Vans are not warmer than tents unless the motor is running and the heater is on.

15. Don't forget the Chapstick.

16. No matter how nice the campground restroom is, the toilet paper will always be lousy. Bring your own from home.

17. Be prepared to stop at every pile of giant boulders you pass while walking or hiking. Your kids MUST climb them and take turns being "king/queen of the mountain".

18. Great hiking experiences in the day can make up for a very miserable night in the cold.

19. Come prepared with lots and lots of snacks, especially if you have little boys. They never stop eating. Ever.

AND last but not least....

20. Take time to stop and enjoy the view.