Monday, November 29, 2010

Naked in Front of a Crowd

I feel very exposed, but I also feel the need to post about what is really going on with me these days.

I have postpartum depression (PPD).  I started to consider the possibility that I had it a little over a week ago when someone made a comment about depression in church.  I realized that what she was describing was exactly how I felt.  Then I called a friend of mine who had gone through PPD before.  She had talked about it on her blog (to see her post, click here).  At her suggestion, I called my midwife and went in for an appointment.

I don't feel like I'm going to hurt my child.
I don't feel like I can't get out of bed in the morning.
I don't cry all day long.

But sometimes I do cry.
And other times I am just numb.
Sometimes I laugh, but not as much as I used to.
And there are often times when I get very overwhelmed.
And angry.
And irritable.
And sad.

I know it'll get better, but at the moment...

I just wanted you to know.


SCNONI said...

I would expect you to be overwhelmed with 4 kids, 2 still in diapers. A good cry never hurt anyone and it's a great stress reliever. Also, soak your feet. A nice long foot bath in Epsom Salts and warm water with a nice foot rub from that special someone goes a long way. Or better yet..a full body massage. You are worth it. We love you...Mom

*Jess* said...

The great thing about PPD is that its treatable and manageable with proper support :) You'll get through this!

Connie said...

Sending you tons of light, love and healing thoughts.
I appreciate your willingness to expose may help someone else!

Barbara said...

PPD is very real, and very manageable. You have taken a great step by recognizing how you feel and what is going on inside you as your body goes through the amazing process of healing. Just try to take it minute by minute and get help with all the tasks of being a mom. Thinking of you!