Saturday, December 12, 2009


I have realized a truth about myself that I'm not sure how to face. 

I don't know how to relax.

For those of you who know me well, this is probably not a surprise to you at all.  The biggest surprise may be that I'm just now realizing it.  But it's true.  I blame my mother.  With love, of course.  For most of my life she has been a single mom of six kids who worked really hard all of the time.  In addition to having a bunch of lazy gits at home that didn't clean up after themselves (yes, I'm including myself!), she also had church responsibilities and work responsibilities and so really didn't have much time to relax at all, let alone pamper and indulge herself.  In so many ways, she's my hero.  We laugh together as a family about how she would talk to us at night after we came in from being out with our friends and fall asleep in the middle of the conversation.  Or sitting on the couch with her head on the stack of towels in her lap.  But it's not really all that funny, is it? She was just really, really tired.  Exhausted, even.  Mom, I wish you'd had the chance to relax a little more - both because you deserved it, but also because that's something I apparently have never learned how to do.

I realized it when Ben was talking about wanting to pamper me with an afternoon at a spa and the very thought made me feel panicky.  Three hours with nothing to do?!  Are you crazy!?  I can't do that!

So what now?  How do I get started in learning how to live and relax and just be? Suggestions anyone?


*Jess* said...

I'm not good at finding a balance. Either I'm running around chasing the kids, baking cupcakes, doing 5 loads of laundry, taking Jayce to therapy, taking Jaina to practice, having a playdate, or any of my normal every day things OR... I completely veg and don't do anything all day. There is no in between for me. Not good!

Barbara said...

Maybe you do.
Just because you don't want to sit and do nothing or go to a spa, doesn't mean you cant relax your mind. I think relaxation is more a matter of NOT multitasking. Are you able to do something you enjoy (like blogging) without your mind going in 1000 directions of things you should be doing. That to me is a best type of relaxation, focused energy. Now sometimes when you are totally worn out, you do have to lay down, but usually that is when I sleep.

SCNONI said...

I think that you have a wonderful, thoughtful husband. I'm not being prejudiced here because he is my son. But, just the fact that he recognizes all that you do, makes me very thankful of the good example his dad set for him. Nothing is so important (barring kids falling/kicking/yelling because their lives are in peril) that you can't take a little time for just you. Let go and enjoy some peace and your family will benefit greatly.

Becky said...

I am surprised you didn't notice this about yourself before :) Definitely you should take Ben up on the spa day. I don't know what all you'd do there, but I think you'd be able to spend a fair amount of that time talking to the people who are massaging you/giving you a facial or whatever. I don't think you're just hanging out by yourself for three hours straight w/nothing to do. That would be hard on anyone. Anyway, it would be good practice for you, to learn to sit still and let someone else take care of you for a little while. You totally deserve it!