I don't know how to relax.
For those of you who know me well, this is probably not a surprise to you at all. The biggest surprise may be that I'm just now realizing it. But it's true. I blame my mother. With love, of course. For most of my life she has been a single mom of six kids who worked really hard all of the time. In addition to having a bunch of lazy gits at home that didn't clean up after themselves (yes, I'm including myself!), she also had church responsibilities and work responsibilities and so really didn't have much time to relax at all, let alone pamper and indulge herself. In so many ways, she's my hero. We laugh together as a family about how she would talk to us at night after we came in from being out with our friends and fall asleep in the middle of the conversation. Or sitting on the couch with her head on the stack of towels in her lap. But it's not really all that funny, is it? She was just really, really tired. Exhausted, even. Mom, I wish you'd had the chance to relax a little more - both because you deserved it, but also because that's something I apparently have never learned how to do.
I realized it when Ben was talking about wanting to pamper me with an afternoon at a spa and the very thought made me feel panicky. Three hours with nothing to do?! Are you crazy!? I can't do that!
So what now? How do I get started in learning how to live and relax and just be? Suggestions anyone?