Connor and Maddox were playing in the backyard, and Maddox was painting on the chair with something rather suspicious looking. Kelsey was out there and asked Connor, "What is Maddox painting with?"
"My poop!" was the answer. She immediately called for me, and I came out to discover that, yes, Connor had done his "business" in the yard and Maddox was playing in it. Simultaneously grossed out and flabbergasted, I questioned Connor as to why he didn't go inside to the bathroom. Apparently, Kelsey had seen a tiny spider in the bathroom sink this morning, and he was afraid of the spider. Therefore, he didn't want to go inside to use the toilet.
After explaining to him that there were infinitely more spiders OUTSIDE than INSIDE the house, bathing both boys, and cleaning up the mess outside, the guilty party and I had a heart-to-heart conversation. It went like this:
Me: Connor, what did you do that was naughty?
Connor: I peed and pooped outside.
Me: And are you going to do that again?
Connor: No, but Simon peed over the fence. (Note: This is his cousin that we just went to visit in Louisiana. They have no near neighbors to see their children pee in the yard.)
Me: (Knowing I needed to choose my battles) I don't care if you pee outside, but you will not poop outside.
Connor: But Jesus gave us poop!
Me: That's right. And he also gave us toilets. So you are only allowed to poop in the toilet, understand?