Saturday, October 1, 2011

I Could Be the Perfect Mom IF...

Tonight, Olivia had the audacity to tell me that I wasn't a perfect mother.  Can you believe that?  Isn't she supposed to be older before she starts figuring that out?

As I continued to think about this, I realized that it's not my fault I'm not perfect.  After all, aren't we all just a product of our environment?  What's keeping me from this crown of perfection?  Well, I'll tell you.

I Could Be a Perfect Mother IF...
  1. I never had to take my kids to Walmart.
  2. The kids didn't have to eat every stinking day.
  3. The house cleaned itself.
  4. Laundry didn't happen.
  5. Back-talk was punishable by death in a court of law.
  6. Babies were born potty-trained.
  7. Sharing came naturally.
  8. I could survive on 4 hours of sleep a night.
  9. Kids' television programming hadn't been invented.
  10. Vegetables were dessert.
That's not too much to ask, is it?