...to stop fighting my fate.
No matter how many different things I have tried and retried and given up on, Maddox still will not sleep through the night.
Which means I still cannot get get up at 5am to get things done.
Which means I have been struggling trying to juggle house, kids, work/writing, and other things.
Which means I have been tired, grumpy, and stressed out.
Yesterday I had an epiphany.
I realized I would be much happier if I would just accept the hand I have been dealt for now, and figure out how to do what I need to do around that.
And although it's not an ideal situation for me to stay up till midnight or one am to get my stuff done, it IS an viable option. And I DO have two older daughters who can get up with the Maddox when he wakes up at 6:30, thus allowing me to sleep till 8am.
Last night was the first trial run. I went to bed around one am - right when Maddox woke up. Took care of him, then went to sleep. Had a few other interruptions, but we're still working out the kinks.
Got up and showered at 8:15.
Relaxed and enjoyed my morning, doing laundry, whatever else I thought needed to be done.
No pressure to get some work done today.
No pressure to do anything other than take care of kids and house. And the kids help DO the house.
This might not be a rough summer after all...